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Submitted by: Mike M.

Outside the window, a crowd assembles. SAGINAW POLICE cars, A MICHIGAN STATE POLICE car, a contingent of masked NURSES streaming from the hospital across the street.

Seven SAGINAW POLICE OFFICERS—the septet that executed Milton Hall in 2012—sing in rich tenor voices:

I boast with the Bloods on the booze cruise
Golf clap to the Crips on the crypt ship
Ho ho ho’s rhythm method was the Purple Gang
In contraceptive wing tips
Her high school memoirs were like
A Ladies’ Powder Room with no exit
Now each London Rabbi laments
Every little bris since Brexit
But it’s safety first with a Covid
Nineteen-year-old girl

From the State Police car emerges the STATE POLICE OFFICER who beat Cornelius Phelps at a 2018 traffic stop, who now sings in a fulsome baritone:

The Pompetis of Love in old Pompeii
Lived to fight another day
While rock stars’ wives get groupie sores
On fields of curds n’ whey
Birds are busy, drunks are dizzy
Witches screaming from the trees
Heifer out of kilter, bubbles of trouble
Breathe, Baby Breathe!
Smothered in fact a Covid
Nineteen-year-old girl

As the orchestra rises, a heavenly figure is lowered from above the stage. It’s DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, who exclaims with passion:

The smell of an Anglican prison
Every house on the block
No sugar to run with scissors
Nature pouncing in principle
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating
In a cough-suppressant sky
Plastic, drastic, lasting, iconoclastic
Flaccid spirits of the warm dead
A dread nomenclature
A dandy sports the Corona violence
I pity the poor flaneur
Her bed a Chinese wet market
Don’t put me in the cat grinder
With Covid nineteen spices
With eleven herbs and Covid nineteen spices
Young people are getting strokes from it!

Finally, the NURSES assemble, center stage, and remove their masks to sing harmoniously, some with hands on hips, some pumping the air with fists defiantly raised:

Dining on fish, gods and numerals
Earwigs in both ears
Baby, that’s my standing blood pressure
Exactly as you fear
She’ll lay deceit on all your receipts
Petite Poisson d’Avril
She’s so tired of being a legging
So swallow that bitter pill
But pipe me aboard with a Covid
Nineteen-year-old girl

Together, over full orchestra, ALL chorus:

Hey hey hey hey a Covid
Nineteen-year-old girl
Hey hey hey hey a Covid
Nineteen-year-old girl!
Huzzah!

CHRISTINE turns to HANNAH, deeply moved.